The Lone, the Happy

When you cover yourself in that rough, bitter blanket of unhappiness, loneliness slowly lays her pillow next to you. That’s what they say, right? That ‘feeling alone’ status of your inside social media comes with misery, right? That moment we all know, we feel it coming, we see it from the window of our inner penthouse.

Suddenly, you become the only tenant of a  Tokyo skyscraper, you crush on to the stairs, shout at some neighbours for help. Abandoned bedrooms. No furniture. You look on the window. Empty streets. Just the enormous toneless view of a once lively, never sleeping city.

It’s not that loneliness you fill it with your own self. My self is usually goofy, easy-to-get-along with, he has his fastidious moments, sometimes stubborn, but our quality time always ends up with wandering, amazement, a drink and chat with Captain Morgan and  a good laugh. 

It’s that loneliness made of air, that your fingers can’t snatch and imprison in a shielded room with a life sentence. It’s the unexpected loneliness. It strikes you when you least expect to: when you are happy, happy and you want the whole world to know about it.

This is when this evil-widowed woman comes and hits you in the back with a quick, deep shot: you have no one to tell. Because of the a.m./p.m. thing, because it’s distance made of miles, not centimetres, because of the ‘here’ and ‘there’, because of the ‘now’ and ‘then’. Because of ‘me’ and ‘them’.

It’s happiness that makes you feel loneliness. Strange, right? When you’re down you expect to be helped. Also healing it’s mostly your share of work. When down, you need your own knees to get up. When down and they’re up, maybe you don’t want them to see your wounds. When you’re down, going up is the only way, right? For so many reasons, being lonely is so much better when you’re down. For so many reasons, when you’re down you’ll find someone to dust your coat and soul. For so many reasons, sadness comes with loneliness.

For no reason, loneliness comes with happiness. When you have no one to share your life-blessings, someone to hear your ‘I made it’ scream, the ones to see your tears made of joy.

Loneliness comes when you need a cheer up, but what about the ‘Cheeeeers!’ moments?

Oh! Sorry, can you please excuse me for a second? I’ll answer to that question right away. I have someone ringing at the door. Oh, I forgot, my skyscraper is such a crowded and lively place, with one of a kind tenants. Maybe they were on holiday? Oh, it must be just me not seeing the clear view. It happens.



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