One month of London and 2000 and something km away. Still don’t know the miles. I know that miles or km, cm or inches are the same thing: distance! Distance from what I was to what I am to what I am supposed to be to what I will become.
Meanwhile, I’m still keeping my stumbling feet on two grounds. One I know better; it took me 26 years to know its mood, its autumn and its dangers. I know that from time to time it has its cracks, but still I have people holding my hands not to fall into the chasm. They were shaking my mind off the worries, I had my tomorrow scheduled the day before, changes were planned like holiday gifts.
On the other ground, autumn is all the time. Even in spring. It’s been a month and we’re still in love. But we know nothing about each other. I know it’s a moving ground. And now, it’s just chemistry.
Here I am the one (wo)man show – the fall, the hit, the mud, the splashing cars, the rain, the new, the hard, the greatness, the unexpected. I fall, I fail, I win, I lose, I earn, I learn, I read, I crave, I miss, I adapt, I write, I film, I stumble, I run, I stay, I aim, I dream, I hope, I want, I love, I will. I lean against myself.
And myself finds its self in this silent zone where you only hear the mind, the thoughts and the heart. They’re all into this together. They keep quiet to the world.
The world will only see the walking.
Meanwhile, you restless mind of mine, get your thoughts out of here! Send them away from emotional-cognitive zone! Danger zone!
Get analytical, get to the left, yes, left. Left-brained, I said. And ‘Shhht!’
Or ‘Zât!’, if Romanian works better for you!